I have a confession to make… I have been experiencing amnesia.
Not the kind where you forget appointments or can’t remember where you put your keys.. (although I did lose my car in a car park recently.) The kind of amnesia that happens when you fall into a fracture between worlds. Trapped somewhere between the old and the new, without a compass, unable to remember how to get out, or where you were going before you forgot, or even how you began to solve the problem the last time. The kind where you do remember that you’ve been here before, in this state of amnesia, and you’ve found your way out before, maybe countless times- but you cannot remember how you did that.. What did you do? Where did you look? What was the first step?
That is the kind of amnesia I’ve been in this week.
The ironic thing is- the last thing I remember before I fell into this amnesia- was that I was talking about amnesia. The matrix of our beliefs that contain us become camouflaged and disappear from view if we do not pay close attention- thus inducing an amnesiac state. Philip Shepherd in his incredible book 'New Self New World' describes this state and spending years leaving written notes and post-it notes everywhere lest he would succumb to amnesia and forget who he truly was...