Be Yourself, Be More, Relax & Other Useless Advice

Be Yourself, Be More, Relax & Other Useless Advice

There is one piece of teaching that I keep hearing from all kinds of wise people, which starts to drive me a bit nuts.. It seems to me to be as useful as ‘relax’ - which might be the most useless piece of advice ever.. Relax how?  If people knew how to relax they probably wouldn’t be needing your services at all, or asking for advice in the first place.
So to me its along similar lines..
And what is this gem of wisdom so many great teachers like to impart upon thee?
“Be yourself”
Or “Be you!”
Or the one that really tipped me over the edge to write this today…
Just (just.. ahem..) be MORE of yourself.. “

My question is.. how can a person be more of themselves if they aren’t clear who they are?



I have a confession to make… I have been experiencing amnesia.
Not the kind where you forget appointments or can’t remember where you put your keys.. (although I did lose my car in a car park recently.)  The kind of amnesia that happens when you fall into a fracture between worlds.  Trapped somewhere between the old and the new, without a compass, unable to remember how to get out, or where you were going before you forgot, or even how you began to solve the problem the last time.  The kind where you do remember that you’ve been here before, in this state of amnesia, and you’ve found your way out before, maybe countless times-  but you cannot remember how you did that.. What did you do? Where did you look?  What was the first step?
That is the kind of amnesia I’ve been in this week.

The ironic thing is- the last thing I remember before I fell into this amnesia- was that I was talking about amnesia. The matrix of our beliefs that contain us become camouflaged and disappear from view if we do not pay close attention- thus inducing an amnesiac state.  Philip Shepherd in his incredible book 'New Self New World' describes this state and spending years leaving written notes and post-it notes everywhere lest he would succumb to amnesia and forget who he truly was...

The Myth of The Core Continues...

The Myth of The Core Continues...

We live in a changing world.  A time of paradoxes.  Everything we thought we knew has been turned upside down.  It’s easy to be disoriented when we cannot find which way is up.

As I discussed in my last blog, letting go of our attachment to our identity is necessary to find any feeling of flow, and to remove the massive resistance that many of us are experiencing,

We now live in a world where we do not know who to believe when we look around. And it is more important than ever before to find a guidance system which will foster trust not create more anxiety.      This becomes a very big issue when we have adopted beliefs and practises which inhibit our ability to tune our own guidance system.

I’d love to present this in a more palatable way, maybe with a ribbon around it, but the truth is we are screwed if we think the answers we are looking for are going to come from outside us.  We are equally screwed if we continue to dissociate our heads from the rest of our bodies and give creative and reasoning control to the parts above the neck, and keep that prioritised above any other information the body may present us with.

Self Re-Evaluation and Reinvention- Version 457835

Self Re-Evaluation and Reinvention- Version 457835

It's been a while since I've been writing publicly.  Sometimes the silences in between need a little longer than you planned.  Sometimes there is more dust to settle.  And sometimes the storm keeps going, nothing settles, and there is no form to hold onto.  Sometimes you realise you can let the form go entirely, and gradually something completely new begins to emerge.  That process needs it's space.  It happens both at glacial speed and lightning fast.  Before you know it the world looks different, and you look different to the world.


There have been many before and after watershed moments in my life, and this blog represents one of them.  Not one that involves death or relationships.. and yet one that involves both death and relationships.  To allow for a rebirth there had to be a death of the old.  To find new life I had to redefine my relationship with myself...  I'd like to introduce you to Version 457835!

The Myth of Core Stability

The Myth of Core Stability

We are bombarded with messages that we need to protect our backs and strengthen our ‘cores’.  There are so many misconceptions and assumptions made about ‘core stability’ which have seeped into our culture.  However, more and more people are waking up to the limitations of the approach and realising that the premise needs to be deeply questioned.  Even the notion of what the ‘core’ is and if it actually exists is disputable.

A Personal Story of Working with Children

A Personal Story of Working with Children

An act of fate brought me into working with children.  More than 10 years ago my baby nephew had a brain injury.  I was one year into my Feldenkrais training at the time. That changed the course of my training and my work in the method.  Initially I was learning all I could to help him in his recovery and long journey ahead.  Over time I started working with other children with all kinds of needs and difficulties, all with extraordinary courage.

A New year Message from Me to You

I have been really blown away by how many people have been listening to my recordings over the last few months, form all corners of the world.. I have been receiving messages from people who have been affected or inspired or moved by them in all different ways.  So I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you…

Elite Tennis Magazine- Body Equilibrium

Elite Tennis Magazine- Body Equilibrium

Body Intelligence

As players push themselves and each other to ever increasing levels of physical abilities, they also increasingly push themselves to and beyond their limits.   More and more players are breaking down under the strain.   This becomes a dangerous trend particularly if we perceive the increasing level of injuries as the new norm, or just part and parcel of the game.  If instead we take it as a sign to look at the problem in a different way, it could be the beginning of a different approach to training, where players train smarter not harder.  


It is my belief that players can’t just push themselves continually through training. That eventually will lead to breakdown.  Something is missing in the way most players are training, and that is sensory body awareness.  The incredible demands that players have to face during matches require them to be faster, stronger, fitter, and to go beyond pain or discomfort.  If training also pushes them beyond their limits, they start to lose touch with themselves and lose their ability to manage themselves. In other words, push hard enough for long enough and performance, ability to adapt, ability to recover, as well as enjoyment will start to go backwards. This is burnout....

Monica Lewinsky, Brené Brown and why we need to talk about Shame

Can you be humiliated to death?  I was struck this week reading excerpts from Monica Lewinsky’s interview in Vanity Fair magazine, (the first time she has spoken of her affair with Bill Clinton) by the power of shame and catastrophic effects it can cause.  That you can actually be humiliated to death, as in the case of 18yr old Tyler Clementi who committed suicide after being filmed kissing another man and having that streamed on the internet. ....

Don't Be So Sure

One of the most powerful ways to open yourself to be able to learn, is to be able to say, ‘I don’t know’.

In a learning situation- you don’t have to know the answer, not as a student, nor as a teacher or a parent.  It’s important to realise that once you have the answer- the learning stops.  Once you have achieved it, there’s nowhere to go.  Take time to be in the in-between place.  Sit on the fence a bit longer.  In that space of exploration is the most fertile ground....

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Have adults lost the ability to learn? (or curiosity never killed the cat, but lack of curiosity froze the pelvis)

As babies & toddlers we go through a learning explosion, our brain is busy exploring, trying things out, testing, discovering, making mistakes & trying again.

So where does it go?

What happens between early childhood & adulthood to reverse and eradicate that discovery?  At what point exactly does the learning curve start going on a downhill slide?

At what age do we stop being curious?

Learning to Listen

Something from Edward Yu‘s book The Art of Slowing Down stays with me, about the difference between listening to the whispers your body tells you, or waiting til you can no longer ignore the screams.  How many of us have become expert at waiting for the screams, and then manage to ignore those too.  But eventually if we don’t listen long enough we hit the brick wall, our bodies have a way of making us stop in the end, one way or another.....

The London Riots, Self-Respect & Moshe Feldenkrais

The riots and destruction in London and other parts of England over the last week has got me to think about what causes this kind of mentality in society and in the individual. and what we can do about it, as I think many many people were asking themselves this week.  It is particularly the kids as young as 11 caught up in the violence which seems to shock people the most.  I can’t help but wonder if what I have chosen to do- Feldenkrais- is helpless in the face of this scale of breakdown in society....